I have been considering blogging for a few months and finally decided today to just do it! There are two things on my mind when I think about it. The first one has to do with my children. My mother died a few years ago without my ever really knowing her. She was of German descent and very closed off...you know...they kept the family skeletons in the closet...and her own heart walled off and inaccessible. Of course the family skeletons have a way of breaking out and putting on flesh in new form but with the same old ways. Before she died I had grown to love my her very dearly. But her death left me with an empty place in my soul. She left me without sharing herself with me; without ever giving me the gift of herself. I may never know why she was so self-centered and closed off but I find I am very much like her and it causes a deep well of sorrow and grief. I don't want my children to feel the way I do about my mother so I have decided to write on this blog the things I want my children to know about me and about them. I hate that I am doing it in a public way. It is so risky and vulnerable. I have great fear of being foolish, rejected and even uninteresting.

But that's enough for today.